MoT's WDF

"Vostok Komandirskie MEN'S WATCH / NEED BATTERY"

https://www.ebay.com/itm/393201003084

There are plenty of these "needs new battery" watches on eBay. The description on this one really jumped out.



"HONEY, I NEED A NEW, MORE EXPENSIVE WATCH. THIS ONE STOPPED RUNNING."

EDIT: Not pictured is me buying a $25 box of eye drops and throwing it away when I got home.

Maybe you shouldn't buy this unless you have just had semi-yearly large financial results?!

https://www.ebay.com/itm/233947780213?ul_noapp=true

Sonny Rollins is never a mistake--but this listing on Ebay is!

Your grocery anti-bargain of the day.

Just spent 15 minutes cursing and wondering why the screw-down ring on my Accutron wouldn't screw down.

Checked the threads, checked the gasket, checked everything.

Then I realized I was turning the ring left instead of right.

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 9:40 pm Just spent 15 minutes cursing and wondering why the screw-down ring on my Accutron wouldn't screw down.
tingChecked the threads, checked the gasket, checked everything.)

Then I realized I was turning the ring left instead of right.

---------

Reminds me of one of my shticks when I was still professing:

Me: "I know everything! I can't find my way home--but I know everything!"

Always got the laugh I was looking for.

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 9:48 pm

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 9:40 pm Just spent 15 minutes cursing and wondering why the screw-down ring on my Accutron wouldn't screw down.
tingChecked the threads, checked the gasket, checked everything.)

Then I realized I was turning the ring left instead of right.

---------

Reminds me of one of my shticks when I was still professing:

Me: "I know everything! I can't find my way home--but I know everything!"

Always got the laugh I was looking for.

That's great!

What did you teach?

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:12 pm

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 9:48 pm

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 9:40 pm Just spent 15 minutes cursing and wondering why the screw-down ring on my Accutron wouldn't screw down.
tingChecked the threads, checked the gasket, checked everything.)

Then I realized I was turning the ring left instead of right.

---------
Reminds me of one of my shticks when I was still professing:

Me: "I know everything! I can't find my way home--but I know everything!"

Always got the laugh I was looking for.

That's great!

What did you teach?

----------

I was a professor of English at a New Jersey public university. My special courses were Shakespeare, History of the English Language, and Satire.

And to add to the world of almost Freudian slips, I first typed out "My special curses" before I caught it.

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:48 pm

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:12 pm

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 9:48 pm

---------
Reminds me of one of my shticks when I was still professing:

Me: "I know everything! I can't find my way home--but I know everything!"

Always got the laugh I was looking for.

That's great!

What did you teach?

----------

I was a professor of English at a New Jersey public university. My special courses were Shakespeare, History of the English Language, and Satire.

And to add to the world of almost Freudian slips, I first typed out "My special curses" before I caught it.

I had a hunch it was English. English classes in high school and college were always my favorites, as were the teachers and professors. In college I really enjoyed courses that dealt with critical analysis or history (children's literature in particular).

For a high school English project I reworked Macbeth as a 1930s gangster (Capone, Lucky Luciano, etc) story. I wish I still had a copy.

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 11:10 pm

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:48 pm

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:12 pm

That's great!

What did you teach?

----------

I was a professor of English at a New Jersey public university. My special courses were Shakespeare, History of the English Language, and Satire.

And to add to the world of almost Freudian slips, I first typed out "My special curses" before I caught it.

I had a hunch it was English. English classes in high school and college were always my favorites, as were the teachers and professors. In college I really enjoyed courses that dealt with critical analysis or history (children's literature in particular).

For a high school English project I reworked Macbeth as a 1930s gangster (Capone, Lucky Luciano, etc) story. I wish I still had a copy.

----------

You were ahead of your time. There's a really great movie based on Macbeth--"Men of Respect"--which is about gangsters in the Bronx.

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102432/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Ignore the 5.5 * rating. They didn't have a clue!

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Fri Apr 23, 2021 6:01 pm

OMG that is hilarious -- I can't stop laughing! So is Joan of Arc the Sara Lee of toast? I'll serve them with my smoked salmon pâté.

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:48 pm

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:12 pm

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 9:48 pm

---------
Reminds me of one of my shticks when I was still professing:

Me: "I know everything! I can't find my way home--but I know everything!"

Always got the laugh I was looking for.

That's great!

What did you teach?

----------

I was a professor of English at a New Jersey public university. My special courses were Shakespeare, History of the English Language, and Satire.

And to add to the world of almost Freudian slips, I first typed out "My special curses" before I caught it.

Cool. One of my favorite books is The King's English by Fowler & Fowler. Completely off topic, but I homeschooled our son for a few years. I collected many textbooks and other non-fiction. I was fascinated to learn how much personality and style there can be in a textbook. English grammar was of special interest to me. It was difficult to find a good, single book on the subject, but I did find one. It is English Composition by Vivian & Jackson. It is actually a paperback meant to supplement textbooks of the day, but its organization and style are excellent. Meanwhile, I still have to think to make sure I'm using "lay" or "lie" correctly, particularly in the past tense lol.

Do you have any favorite books on the English language?

BostonCharlie wrote: ↑Wed May 05, 2021 3:03 pm

The Sultan of SoWhat wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:48 pm

ManOnTime wrote: ↑Mon May 03, 2021 10:12 pm

That's great!

What did you teach?

----------

I was a professor of English at a New Jersey public university. My special courses were Shakespeare, History of the English Language, and Satire.

And to add to the world of almost Freudian slips, I first typed out "My special curses" before I caught it.

Cool. One of my favorite books is The King's English by Fowler & Fowler. Completely off topic, but I homeschooled our son for a few years. I collected many textbooks and other non-fiction. I was fascinated to learn how much personality and style there can be in a textbook. English grammar was of special interest to me. It was difficult to find a good, single book on the subject, but I did find one. It is English Composition by Vivian & Jackson. It is actually a paperback meant to supplement textbooks of the day, but its organization and style are excellent. Meanwhile, I still have to think to make sure I'm using "lay" or "lie" correctly, particularly in the past tense lol.

Do you have any favorite books on the English language?

-------------

I have to do some little thinking about this--but off the top of my head; NEVER Strunk and White!

Any book on the language by David Crystal is a winner: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=David+chryst ... _sb_noss_2

As a short-hand guide to usage, you probably can't do better than George Orwell's six rules:

i. Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

ii. Never use a long word where a short one will do.

iii. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

iv. Never use the passive where you can use the active.

v. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

vi. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

-----

I will add that English (or Swedish or Mandarin or Arabic, etc.) is your native language. Don't let anybody intimidate you or try to shame you while using it. It's yours by rights!